The Shepherd Leader at Home: Knowing, Leading, Protecting, and Providing for Your Family

One of the convictions that we have as a church is that God has made men and women equal before God in personhood but different in callings and roles. And it is the calling of men to lead in the home and the church. So, from time to time I like to pick up a book that stirs men up to for this task. Recently, I read a book by Timothy Z. Witmer called "The Shepherd Leader at Home." I thought the book had quite a few things to say as well as some very helpful questions for discussion at the end of each chapter. You can get a copy of the book for yourself at WTSBooks or ChristianBook. Here are 20 quotes that I found particularly challenging or encouraging.

1

Many of the problems in the church, and in society at large, for that matter, can be traced to growing numbers of families that are like sheep without a shepherd.

2

You must set aside dedicated time to be alone with your wife. Life is crazy, but you make time for what really matters to you. ...if you intend to truly know your wife, to understand her and to serve her, you must set aside time...

3

As the shepherd leader of your marriage you take the lead in making this a priority and in making the plans. This is an important way to express your love for your wife as you show her that being alone with her is a key priority of your life.

4

God's design for your marriage is that you leverage your mutual and complementary gifts and strengths in his service.

5

You have a lot of work to do if you are to be the primary influence in the lives of your children. It doesn't just happen. You have to make it happen.

6

"Harvard researchers looked at which activities most fostered healthy child development: play, story time, events with family members and other factors. Family dinners won out."

7

…whether you know or like it, you are the model for what they will be like when they become parents themselves. When you show your children that they are a priority, you are setting a good example for them when they have families of their own.

8

...husbands are never told to make sure their wives submit to them or to keep them in submission. (Christopher Ash)

9

Is your wife frustrated? …One sure way is to fail to love her. Your number-one responsibility, humanly speaking, is to love your wife to the extent that she has absolutely no doubts about it. Your expressions of love must be demonstrable, practical, and perennial!

10

...it may not be the challenges of secular feminism that pose the greatest threat to God's order of marriage, but the pathetic abdications of sinful males who will not take upon ourselves our God-given responsibility to exercise headship in our marriages and in our home. (Christopher Ash)

11

The things that really matter to you are the things for which you make room in your own life, and your children are watching.

12

Will they think it is really important to read the Bible if they never see you read yours? Will they consider it a priority to go to church and be involved with God's people if you send them but don't go yourself? Will your children speak respectfully to others when they hear the way you speak to your wife? Will they deem it necessary to be honest if they constantly hear you shade the truth or mislead others? Who are you kidding? In reality, what we often communicate to our children is that it is more important to get to football, soccer, or baseball practice regularly than to church or youth group. What are you really communicating to your children?

13

If you live for your private pleasure at the expense of your spouse, you are living against yourself and destroying your joy. But if you devote yourself with all your heart to the holy joy of your spouse, you will also be living for your joy and making a marriage after the image of Christ and His church. (John Piper)

14

Decisively walk in the light. Every time you resist temptation, you leave the darkness further behind. Every time you yield to the Spirit's power and to his Word of wisdom, your life is filled with light and the darkness loses its power.

15

We are all just one generation away from unbelief. It is our responsibility to pass the truth along to our children. This is no area in which we should drop the baton.

16

We must communicate to our children that Christianity is largely countercultural. Its values are often the opposite of what they see in the media or hear from their friends.

17

In the Lord's wisdom he has given parents the responsibility to set these boundaries. "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4). It is a duty that cannot be delegated to Sunday school teachers, youth leaders, or school teachers. You have been authorized by the Creator to teach, nurture, set boundaries, and provide discipline when necessary.

18

Discipline at every level is more effective when it is built on the foundation of a personal, loving relationship.

19

1. When it comes to the spiritual provision, would you say that your family is well fed or undernourished?

20

3. As you consider your family devotional times, whether an established practice or a new plan, evaluate them on the following criteria:

• Is your practice realistic?

• Is your approach systematic? Do you have a plan?

• Are you flexible? Do your devotions serve you, or are you legalistic about them?

• Are you consistent? If someone asked, "Do you have family devotions?" could you answer yes with a clear conscience?

• Is your approach interactive? Do you plan for and encourage conversation around the Scriptures?

• Are you real? Do your attitude and commitment to family devotions communicate to your family that it is an important part of family life? Do they see you strive, by God's grace, to walk with the Lord in your own life?